What do you say to an alcoholic. ACoAs really appreciate patience, listening, more patience, more listening, and compassion. February 3, at 7: Tasha March 3, 7: Again, any resources on the above mentioned reference you made would be wonderful. As I mention in the post above, when in doubt, callor one of the hotlines. Her being angry at you is unpleasant, but you are trying to keep her safe and that has to be the top priority. If you drink too much alcohol you are an alcoholic. The habit of drinking in one of the spouse has probably ended more marriages and broken up more families than you can even think of.